It’s been a good 12 years since I published one of the all-time most popular articles on this website. That post being my most recent (and only) collection of terrible saxophone jokes to commemorate the birthday of Adolphe Sax, the inventor of our beloved instrument.
November 6 (tomorrow, at the time of this writing in 2022), is known as International Saxophone Day, and for those of you who did endure my first stab at (stolen) saxophone humor in honor of the day, this follow up is probably going to feel like it came too soon.
Google, Copy, Paste, Rinse and Repeat….
When I started writing this post, my plan was to use the same methodology as just about anyone else who’s ever put together a joke list post. That method being, of course, perusing Google for jokes to lift from other websites.
And in starting that process, I began to question the value of yet another pile of “what’s the difference between a dead [insert instrument] player and a dead snake in the road?”-type jokes, which honestly felt pretty lame.
Curated Unoriginality vs Originality That Probably Should Be Curated
Once I realized the uselessness of yet another hand-picked collection of plagiarized duds, it occurred to me that I could put together my own collection of original duds, thanks to the incredibly low bar required to live up to the comedic standards of crowd-pleasers such as “What did the [insert instrument] player get on his IQ test?…Drool”.
One of my goals in adding to the canon of zingers that will hopefully be passed down through generations of band directors whose conducting style consists primarily of alternating between jumping up and down for no reason and making “shhh” motions directed at any given section of the band, was to make these actually saxophone-specific as opposed to most of the “insert instrument” jokes. So you’ll want to fasten your seatbelts for some real “inside-baseball” gems here….
And now, without any further ado…
My Contribution to the World of Saxophone “Humor”
What do a box of saxophone reeds and a room filled with 100 professional saxophonists have in common?
Both only have one that actually works.
What do you call the period of time twenty minutes into a tenor solo?
What’s the difference between a unicorn and a professional saxophonist who actually plays the horn they endorse?
You’re more likely to run into a unicorn.
What’s the difference between a college saxophone player’s solo and an airplane bathroom?
The airplane bathroom has more space.
Which historical villain who answered to the name, “Adolf” – err…I should probably stop here…
What’s the first thing you should do if you accidentally swallow Liquid Drano?
Locate the nearest recording of two soprano saxes playing in unison.
What’s the difference between a jazz saxophonist and a salad bar?
The salad bar pays more attention to the rhythm section.
Who was it that first said, “the saxophone is the instrument that sounds closest to the human voice”?
What’s the difference between a Selmer Mark VI and printer ink?
Printer ink is a better value for the money.
And finally, LA PIÈCE DE LA RÉSISTANCE….
What’s the difference between a classical saxophone sound and a sine wave?
A sine wave has more complexity and richness in terms of ratio of overtones to fundamental.